More outtakes from MODERN MEN, EAVESDROPPED:

“Dude, exactly! Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I mean, my wife is hotter now than she’s ever been. She’s like doin’ pilates and shit...” 

“Man, I need to start doing something like that. I don’t know, I gotta start doing something.” 

“Yeah, but...”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, no. I mean, I don’t know, she runs like three or four times a week. I mean, she’s got this FUCKING ASS on her now. I really wish someone else could see it. Like fuck, man, I don’t even need to have sex anymore. I’m serious, I’d rather her just show it to me and let me jack off.” 

“Haha... That’s some fucked up shit, man.” 

“Yeah, well, shit, I almost... Well, you know... Awe, man, I’m just so fucking fucked up, dude. I mean, what the FUCK? The stress, man. It’s just fucking unbelievable! I mean, really, it’s absurd!” 

“I know. It’s just fuckin’ hard, man! It’s fucking impossible! I mean, this is it, this right here. This the shit they’re talking about. What we’re going through right now, I mean, we’re right in the fucking middle of it. All that Carver shit! This is it. We’re going through it, right now. And it will literally fucking kill you!” 

“Dude, I’m telling you, I would rather be in FUCKING COMBAT than go through this shit. I’m not kidding, like storming a fucking beach somewhere. I’m serious. Fuck this shit!” 

“I know, man. I don’t know how anyone does it. I really don’t. I mean, we’re good guys too, ya know. We work. We’re just trying to do our thing. It’s not... I don’t know, man. It’s not like it used to be. Or maybe it is, I don’t know. I don’t think so though. I mean, people are fucking losing it!...”

“Fuck!... You know, lately I’ve been like, I pretend like I’m the pool boy or like I’m some young dude at a bar that she’s cheating on me with.” 

“Haha... Holy shit, man! Yeah, well, you gotta, you know...” 

“It works, man. I mean, our chicks are fuckin’ HOT, man! Your girl is fucking smokin’! Mine too! I mean, fuck, what’s the matter with us?” 

“Yeah, it’s just, you know, it’s just all the shit, man. It’s just fucking hard, man. And then we’re just gonna get fuckin‘ older. I mean, fuck!”

“Hey, look at the bartender, the one that just came in. I mean, fuck, look at that! Jesus fucking Christ! I mean, how much fun would THAT be?” 

“Yeah, but then, you know, our girls were just like that. Fuck, what am I talking about? WAY better.” 

“Oh, I know. God, I wish I could go back, you know, go back and fuck her back when we first got together. Fuck, man...” 

“Dude, I always think about that. How awesome would that be, right? I mean, fuck, what on earth could be better than that?... You know, man, it’s like sometimes I think, everything that has happened, you know, every single goddamn thing that has ever happened in this fucked up world, it’s all led to this, to this moment right here, you and me right here, right now at this bar... I don’t know. It’s just so fucked up, man. It doesn’t even feel like I’m really even here anymore. It’s like I’m watching all these things happen but I’m like outside of myself, like I’m not really me, ya know, like I’m watching it from afar...”