YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

And all those stories you will never know if they are true. Did Ray Johnson and his friends really throw those kittens in that filthy pool, the one in the other neighborhood behind the Strandley's? I heard they duct taped their legs together and then one by one, they tossed 'em in. So I guess they just stood there at the edge, looking down at those blurry images at the bottom of that water? I definitely don't buy the other one though, that they buried a couple up to their necks and ran them over with a lawnmower. I can't imagine anyone doing that. But hearing those stories really shifted things in my mind. It wasn't long after, my mother went insane and I started having to stay with friends. And I guess around then is when I heard so and so fucked Mrs. so and so. Could you imagine? I mean, we're talking the 8th grade! Everyone said he had a big dick. Man, I really hope that's true. She was the hottest teacher I ever had. I still find myself thinking about that ass. I wonder what she looks like now? And then that time we were all out there under that street light, throwing those frogs up in the air. In the summer they would gather like pilgrims, staring up at the mass of june bugs whirling around the light. We'd pick 'em up and throw them underhanded and watch them wobble through the air. And then they would hit and we would wince and jump up and down and go: "Oooo!" or "Ahhh!" Their faces would be smashed and their blood was just like ours and sometimes their legs would break and they would go sideways when they hopped and wind up on their backs with their soft white bellies shinning in the light. And I was just about to pick up another one when we heard: "HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU KIDS DOING?" And we looked over and saw that disheveled man that had moved back in with his parents because they said he was too sad. He was standing barefoot in the grass by the curb, huffing with his hands on his hips. His eyes were bright red and his t-shirt was stained. He had a big round belly and long skinny arms. He never said another word. We all just stood there, looking around at the frogs as the june bugs flew around the light.