Thursday, July 16, 2015

THE EPIDEMIC

I think there's just not enough self hating Muslims out there. That's always been the best course of treatment for these sorts of diseases. Look at the Jews, look at all the giants of comedy, art, theater, film, literature etc,. that's blossomed out of that prickly bush. But it's definitely the comedy that's been most effective, that has done the most good. It's the pre-emptive hysterectomy or mastectomy. What they need is a modern day Muslim Kafka. Yes, Kafka. I've always found that brave little butcher hilarious. But then again, the Jews never had the bright idea to discipline their own people by publicly cutting their heads off, which I'll admit, certainly raises the stakes. But I've always felt it can be far braver to hop on that empty stage than to storm a beach. You know, unless you were to storm that beach, naked, with a big raging hard on, that purple headed thing waving back and forth like a silly stick. I would've done it. I'm serious, I would've. I don't care if you don't believe me. I know some people reading this will. I once ran naked through the streets of New York and some border town in Mexico, hurdling large cactus plants. Two of my greatest accomplishments in life. I would've done it singing "Oklahoma" or some shit at the top of my lungs because FUCK IT! Fuck all this stupid shit we do and are as humans! I resent it. It's beneath us. And I will never forgive myself for being so stupid cruel as to bring two more beautiful souls into this monstrous world. Anyway, speaking of Oklahoma and getting back to the Muslims, I just got back from Oklahoma recently, and I must say, aside from the blowing themselves up and the beheadings and shit, from what I can tell, there's just not that much difference between your average, conservative, Fox News watching Okie and a radical Muslim. Both these creatures are immune to humor. GO SOONERS! Oh, and do any of you Beaconites happen to have a confederate flag I can borrow?

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