Saturday, December 8, 2012

HOW 'BOUT TACOS?

"Look, man, I've been right where you're at. You know, you can do one of two things. Either surrender to it completely, finally, you know, all that crossroads shit, or you can do what I did and just say fuck it, and turn your back on it and everything else. But you have to take some sort of stand against it."

"Against what, existence?"

"Yeah. I mean look around you. Can you name one person that you are in any way envious of?"

"No, not at all."

"Exactly. That's really where it begins. And yet you yourself are a fuckin miserable wreck. I mean you're fucking worthless. How long do you think you can go on like this? But here's the fucking shit of it, man. It only gets worse. I'm serious, all those anxieties you have, you think they're crippling you now? Wait until you really take a stand. Trust me, man, I know. The truth is, all the evil you could ever imagine is alive and well inside of all of us. It moves around like the weather. I really don't like to call it evil but there's really no other word. Look, you know all of this shit. Under the right circumstances, anything is possible, right? It really doesn't take much of an imagination to conceive of your own mother murdering you."

"Yeah, no."

"But your deal is you like to write. It brings you something. I never really had that. You know, I liked to paint, and I used to make a good living off my paintings, but I could easily live without it. You'd think it would be such a simple thing. You just like to sit and be left alone so you can see what happens. But it's not that easy, is it? To write, to really fuckin' write, man, I don't know. I don't know if it's ever really worth it."

"Yeah, ya know, it's funny, I meet all sorts of writers around here. I read some of their shit and I don't know, I just couldn't imagine anything worse for them to be doing. It's just, it's, I don't know... And some of them are really pretty good but it's like, it just couldn't be more pointless. They're like little moths fluttering around the light."

"Yeah, well, it's a new time, it's a new world. It happens every so often but I don't think it's ever happened like this, not at this level. All those things that used to work, they'll never come close to ever working again. It's over for almost everything, for nearly everyone. Who knows what it's going to be now? But it's gonna have to be something, some sort of energy's gonna have to move in. And never have we had so little to go on. It's hysterical, really, I mean, watching all these people still trying, still thinking what they're doing has a chance. Especially around here, right? But, you know, either way, it's gonna have to be a total surrender. Either way you're gonna have to be braver than you've ever been. There's no gettin' around it, you're gonna have to jump off the bridge. I really think you can do it, brother. I think you might be the one. It's pretty cool to see. It's like the Gods have been grooming you for it all this time. But then I think, you know, you're just too nice of a guy."

"Yeah, I don't know, man... Hey, so where do you wanna go? What about the Thai place?"

"I ate there yesterday."

"The Hop?"

"Yeah, I don't know, I don't really wanna drink."

"How 'bout tacos?"

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