SKEET, TALKIN' WALLS AND THE DEADLY MEDICINE OF GUILT

      "Fuck, man, what do you want me to tell ya? I slipped right on over the fuckin' top, man. And you know what? I fuckin' love it over here! I wouldn't trade places with anyone. I don't want any part of any of it anymore. Fuck it. Hopefully, you know, I've got just enough money to make it to the end without ever really having to do much of anything ever again. I mean, what else could I ever want? But look, man, you know, if you really feel you have no choice, then you just gotta fuckin' do it. You gotta go all the way! You already know to trust what you're going through. All those feelings of alienation, I know exactly what that shit's like. But hey, that's, you know, that's just amateur shit. That's barely even bootcamp. But it's incredible how many people never get beyond it. But as long as you're speaking truthfully to yourself then that's all the confidence you should ever need. All that resistance, all the reaction, that endless... fucking... storm,... you know, I mean, shit, man, it makes the world an evil motherfucker. It's an outright fucking war! I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone. But, you know, at this point, I don't see that you have much choice. You're what, forty one, forty two now? Shit, man, you just got to keep moving, that's all. If you think about it, it's all just the walls of your path. Obviously, you need them in order to feel your way through the darkness, but you gotta be swift; they can close in at any moment. Other than that, you know, my only advice would be to try to relax, try to make things as pleasant as possible. That's really what your problem has been all along. You just gotta lighten up. You need to figure out a way to make the doing of it a positive thing in your life. You gotta rise above any feelings of guilt for the consequences. But, you know, guilt is a strange thing. It's definitely needed; it serves a purpose, but you gotta be careful the way you administer it to yourself. It's the deadliest medicine I know. Far worse than anger. But then really, in the end, who the hell cares? None of this shit matters. You've no more chance here a king or a bum. We're all just peering out, peering out at this silly thing called life. It's really just a short little breath."