EXTERMINATION

But they will merely bring the truth in closer to the lie. As the fear runs like a rat through your brain. As your enemies become innocent, as we all become one. A humanity condemned to confusion, our love engulfed by the sun.

HOW I WAS ALMOST NEARLY SORT OF SAVED

I have to share this with you all, with the world. The most amazing thing happened to me last night. It was probably around 12:30, 1:00. Sarah had gone to bed. We had watched a movie, The Source Family, an amazing documentary about this crazy 60s cult. You should really watch it. Then we watched the last episode of Louie which was okay, not great, but okay. I haven't been able to deal with his friend who's now become his new girlfriend. She bugs the hell out of me. But I gotta say, she really pulled it off on this last episode. Anyway, after that, Sarah went to bed and I poured myself another glass of wine. I flipped it to channel 13. For years, I've been trying to watch those late night English television shows. I can tell they're really great, I want to watch them, but for some reason I just can't get into them. I don't know what it is. It's like I go cross-eyed or something. I can never tell what the hell's going on. And the character's voices all sort of blend together. It sounds like I'm at Grand Central or at a busy bar or something. I don't know, maybe it's because I always try to watch them after I've been drinking for a few hours? So, anyway, I tried to watch one of those and gave up. Then I flipped open my computer to see if Ogrish or Liveleak had any videos yet of ISIS beheading children. Nothing. I'm starting to think it might be bullshit. The world has just gone completely fucking insane. That's really why I go on here. I like seeing pictures and reading posts by people who are still trying to pretend it's not. They are so frightened, they simply block it out. But we all know it's happening, it's coming. You can't honestly think anything's going to right itself in our lifetime. No, trust me, we're about to face some of the darkest days humanity has ever known. Many of you, if not most, hell, maybe all of us, are about to suffer immensely. Soon, it will be nothing to see bloated corpses in the middle of the street. It's the children that kill me. I can't even look at my sweet little boys without biting my lip anymore. I know it's coming and I have no idea what to do for them. It crushes me. I want to die a million horrible deaths to save them from it. Anyway, I know I know, this is getting too long. So here's what happened. I watched a couple horrendous car crashes in Russia and then I closed the computer and when I looked up, I shit you not, there he was! I'm serious! He looked exactly like in the pictures. He was just sort of hovering there at the doorway, smiling in this beautiful, warm light. "Is that you?" I asked. He bowed his head. "What are… I mean, why?" Again, he just bowed his head, smiling peacefully. "Am I right about what I'm seeing? I mean, with the world. Is it really as bad as I think?" He nodded again, but his expression had changed. A bit of sadness had taken over. "Hey, let me ask you something. If you were me, you know, living in the now, would make art or write a novel?" He only shrugged his shoulder's to that one. "Yeah, it's just so fucked up. I don't know how anyone knows what the fuck to do. Everything's just so fucking meaningless… Hey, do you think it was wrong of me to fuck up my mother's rug like that? Turning it into art like that?" He was no longer looking at me at this point. "Jesus?" I said. He still wasn't looking at me. He was sort of looking up with his eyes halfway closed. Then his head started to sort of wobble around a bit. A long stream of saliva snuck out of the corner of his mouth. That's when I looked down and saw what he was doing. The fucker had his hand inside the crotch of his robe and he was going to town. "JESUS CHRIST!" I yelled. He kept going at it. "Hey, man, what the fuck? Stop that shit!" That's when he came, erupting in a shivering spasm. "Awe, man," I said. He took a couple deep breathes and then he smiled and put his hands together and nodded to me as if he was thanking me. "Fuck you, man! That was fucking bullshit!" He shrugged his shoulders and then I watched him drift backwards and fade until he was gone. "Fucking hell, man!" I said. I sat there for minute in disbelief. Then I laughed. "That figures," I thought. "There's no way anyone's ever going to believe me." I knocked back the rest of my wine and I went upstairs to bed.

ALL THE LEAVES SEEMED TO BE BOWING

In homage to the rain about to come. His socks were too tight and his family was gone. Not for long, maybe a week. And now he had no idea what to do with himself. Waking up in strange silence, the stillness of their clothes and toys all around. "Hey, that's it!" he thought. "That's what it is, that's what it has always been all along- everything floats. No wonder I have never found a way to be human that has ever not felt wrong! Or who knows, maybe this isn't our life yet at all?" and just then a friend he hadn't seen in some time came up. They went right into it. It turns out his father had killed himself. He was only 3. And then only recently, he had found out that it was he and his uncle who had found him. He had no memory of it. But he had other memories of that time. Blisters on his feet from shitty shoes. Going to that barn, the same barn where they had found him. He said he remembered being the first to run down to see the new piglets, but now he thinks maybe there were no piglets. That maybe it was finding his father, and there had been some sort of protective reprogramming involved. But he had no interest in the subject. He had always been content to keep moving on. But there was another memory- one of their chickens had been bitten in half by their dog. "It just kept pecking away," he said, sort of laughing, "and the corn meal just spilled right out." Like